Welcome to State Of The Union, appearing each month in bluegrass now magazine! This column provides the spouses of professional bluegrass musicians with a forum in which they can share their insights, observations, and experience with fans and other bluegrass spouses.

September 2003: Tina Rigsby on CHANGE

Married to award-winning musician Don Rigsby for 12 years, Tina Rigsby traveled with her husband for a full decade before giving birth to their daughter, Sarah. Her candid, often wistful comments illustrate her challenging transition from Don's constant road companion to Sarah's stay-home mom.

“I never thought I could be happy, being home and not getting to go as much as I did,” she says. “In a way, I wouldn't change it, but I miss going to all the great festivals and hanging out with my friends, standing on the sidelines cheering Don on! If you've ever heard him, you know he's one of the best in the business. I love Sarah; I love being home. But that was my life for ten years.”

Tina met Don when he sat in on an appearance by Ralph Stanley and the Clinch Mountain Boys at a local school in her hometown. He was a student at Morehead State University and a gifted young musician with a bright future. “I was just a little country girl that had never been anywhere, never seen anything; a preacher's daughter,” remembers Tina. “I was in awe of his talent.”

After they married, Don began working with J.D. Crowe and the New South. “That's when he started getting busy. I thought, 'I don't know if I'm cut out for this! He's gone all the time, and I didn't marry somebody just to sit at home by myself.'” Tina decided to go on the road with her husband, and there she stayed, for the next ten years.

At the moment, Don Rigsby is at a festival with Rock County, the group he formed after leaving Lonesome River Band in one of the most talked-about personnel changes of 2001. Rock County doesn't yet have the wherewithal for a big bus, so Don's driven to the gig. “They get there the best way they can--rail cars, their own personal vehicles--whatever!” Tina reports.

How does Don manage to be away from his wife, after a decade of spending almost every day together? “Oh, I know what he's doing. He is going crazy!" Tina comments. “He talks about it often. 'Man,' he says, 'I was so used to you being right there. I just don't know if I can do it!'” Their close bond has made separation almost intolerable. But it has also made Tina confident of her husband's fidelity in a business rife with failed marriages and broken homes. “Don is rare. He's a man like no other--well, he's like his daddy. He's just so true to me. And I've always had the comfort of knowing that. I didn't know how special that truly was, until I started going [on the road] and just seeing things. A lot of stuff that goes on that I'd rather not talk about. It takes a strong person to be married to a musician. Because let me tell you . . .” She laughs ruefully. “Oh, women are just out there.”

Tina happily remembers her decade of adventures with one of the most popular bands in the genre. “You're young, you've got your friends, and you're in this little bluegrass clique . . . we were just free. We'd go to festivals and hang out all night long.” Her pals included members of IIIrd Tyme Out, plus female musicians like Garnet Imes (married to Ronnie Bowman), Amanda Smith (married to Kenny Smith), and Kim Fox from the Fox Family. “All these girls, and I was the only one that couldn't play music! I guess they felt sorry for me. They accepted me very well, and I am grateful for that.” Tina has actually handled harmony and backup vocal chores on several of Don's recorded projects, and the couple is talking about recording a gospel album together.

Rock County's success will almost certainly bring upgraded transportation for the band, which might mean a return to the road for the Rigsby girls, Tina muses longingly. “Sarah has certain times to eat and nap. I can't stick us in a car for four days at a time, and in hotels. I couldn't go comfortably if we didn't have a motor home or a bus. But I would love to go back on the road!”